The king is dead, long live the king

A Thursday night in spring 1997, I spent an entire evening crying in front of the television. Election result programs are never the most emotional or exciting visual experiences, but this one was different.

I'll never forget sitting dumbfounded in 1992 as the BBC's box of tricks predicted a Labour win, only to be instantly reversed as soon as the first result was in, firstly to a hung parliament and just as quickly into a narrow Tory victory. There were no tears that night, just an incredulity that the British public could be so blatantly selfish, stupid and fooled in such numbers. AGAIN.

But 1997 was different, tears of joy after more tears of joy as result after fantastic result confirming Tory defeat after yet another Tory defeat came through. The number of toffee nosed public school educated in-breds clogging up unemployment offices rocketed the day after. There were only so many day-time presenter vacancies open.

The Friday morning the streets seemed more colourful, people smiled & said 'hello' to complete strangers, it was a good time to be alive. We could all d:ream, things can only get better.

Have they ?

You can now buy a DVD player for less than the cost of a DVD to play in it, so long as you don't drive it home as you'll end up paying more in petrol tax than it's worth. Don't try walking down the street with it under your arm, either, as the ability to kill with impunity seems to have risen directly in line with the desire to carry weapons, for self defence innit. Interest rates are on the rise again, but then people are so far in debt that the interest rate figure is largely irrelevant, if you're broke now, chances are you'll be more broke tomorrow. For years we were told to save for our retirement, only then to be told that the pension fund had gone overboard somewhere in the Mediterranean, but not to worry, the retirement age has gone up so far we'll all die at work anyway. That's if an NHS super bug doesn't kill us all off first.

Would all this have happened anyway ?

Probably.

I've always said that hoodies are just a natural evolution of Thatcherism. A fair days pay for a fair days work was the mantra back in the day, replaced by your loads-a-money generation in the 80's. In their defence, at least your yuppie trader turned up to work in his red-rimmed glasses and Porsche, your average hoodie takes Thatcherism to its logical conclusion, money for nothing. As the NHS improves (and it DOES improve despite government interference) the mortality rate decreases increasing the pension burden on not only the government coffers, but also company pension schemes.

It would have been nice to have a socialist government who would have funded the NHS to the hilt, been tough on the causes of crime (years of Tory abuse) and paid public workers what they were due.

But if they'd have promised that, they would never have got elected in the first place, would they ?

Writer after writer will attempt to sum up the last ten years of Blair rule. Let's be honest, most will make a better job of it than me.

There's a scene in a Simpson's episode where Apu has to pass an immigration test to stay in America. When asked to explain the causes of the American Civil War, he attempts a lengthy answer only to be stopped by the examiner and told to just answer "Slavery".

I'm willing to bet every single other Blair summary sums up his ten years in office using one four letter word beginning with "I" and his loyalty to his four-letter friend beginning with "B".

And I bet none of them squeeze in a reference to Americas REAL first family.