Tricky decision

Following England's dismal failure to qualify for EURO 2008, a decision has to made as to who to support. When this situation last happened, way back in the World Cup in '94, it was easy, Ireland qualified and as they were (still are) technically England's reserve squad, they were a good & simple choice.

This summer the choice isn't that easy, no "home" nations qualifying means a choice between countries usually outside the supporting radar.

So, to narrow down my choice, I've come up with a handy list of EURO 2008 Pros and Cons for each participating nation to pick a favourite. It's got to be done, what other choice is there ? Watching Wimbledon ? Bugger that.

Group A

Switzerland

Pros

Good chocolate

Cons

On a diet, so chocolate is out

Portugal

Pros

Nice kit

Recognizable premiership players

Cons

Cheated in the World Cup

Recognizable Man United players


Turkey

Pros

Nice at Christmas with a bit of cranberry sauce

Cons

Not really in Europe, is it ?


Czech Republic

Pros

Good bars

Good strip joints

Cheap beer

Cons

I've supported the Czechs before, only for them to let me down badly


Group B

Austria

Pros

Good cuckoo clocks

Cons

Most of the population live underground


Germany

Pros

Efficient players

Friendly fans

Clean cities

Cons

German


Poland

Pros

Nice countryside

Nice food, if you like boiled beetroot with everything

Cons

Is there actually anyone left in Poland anymore ?


Croatia

Pros

Nice kit

Cons

Knocked England out in the first place

Coached by Bryan Ferry


Group C (The group of death)

France

Pros

Nice countryside

Nice food

Lots of non-Man United Premiership players

Twinned with Blackpool

Cons

French (could you see any Frenchman supporting England in similar circumstances ? No, me neither)

In the group of death


Italy

Pros

World Champions

Nice kit

Cons

Always treat the European Championship with contempt

Probably already know their three group results

In the group of death


Netherlands

Pros

Lax drug laws

Nice kit, well, in half of Glasgow anyway

Cons

In the group of death


Romania

Pros

er .......

Cons

In the group of death

And shit


Group D

Greece

Pros

Current holders

Warm country

Cons

How they won last time is anyones guess. It basically means anyone could win it.


Spain

Pros

Nice kit

I've actually been to Spain. Alright, I've been to Ibiza, but that's part of Spain.

And Feuterventura.

The taste of San Miguel always reminds me of the rolling Spanish plains at sunset. Alright, alright, the half finished hotel complex next door.

Cons

Always qualify for major tournaments, never in their hotel long enough to learn the name of the manager


Russia

Pros

Former Socialist state

Cons

For about two minutes


Sweden

Pros

Fit supporters

Cons

Unfit players






So, there we have it, who's it going to be ? I think I already know, but I'll leave my choice for another week or so, long enough for me to buy the kit anyway. Arrivederci.