Not as daft as they're made out to be.

In the days when exams were tough and certificates were earned instead of being given away like toffee wrappers, I got one that said "GCSE French Grade C" and another that said "GCSE German Grade C".

This shows two things, I wasn't particularly brilliant at French or German, but I did show a certain level of achievement in learning 2 other languages, especially in England, where speaking to a foreigner usually involves lots of pointing and raised voices.

In my time, I have ordered beers in both France & Germany and if pushed, could also direct someone to their donkey in the centre of Paris.

But only if their donkey happened to be down the first road on the left.

However, at no point in any of my foreign language studies, was I taught how to say or understand the phrase:

"you're the son of a terrorist whore"

which makes the Zinadine Zidane sending off all the more strange.

And they say footballers are supposed to be stupid.