SrAlan & Son

More Apprentice, more b******s spouted by these self-proclaimed business geniuses and another one bites the dust. Noorul this week, telling the world how he loved his kids back at his school and how he couldn’t wait to get back to them to get them through their GCSE’s. I bet he’d have thought exactly the same thing if he’d been offered the job at the end, eh ? School ? Kids ? What kids ?

Philip kicked things off by telling everyone, and I’ll paraphrase a bit, “if you think I’m a t**t, then tell me”.

Well, Philip, you’re a t**t.

He then failed to let Lorraine talk him into realising the true cost of a rug. Surely the best option for all concerned would have been to shove said rug up Lorraine’s a**e, shutting her up, making us smile AND not making a huge loss in the process. Poor management, me thinks.

Ben is a rival for Philip, in so much that he’s nearly as big a t**t. “I’m a grafter” he stated, er, no you’re not Ben. “I’m a good leader” he added, well again, no, your team lost you numpty. “I had a scholarship at Sandhurst”. Well whoop-de-f***ing-do. I once got offered the chance to join the coaching staff at my boys school, a chance I had to pass up when I moved back to Nottingham. Doesn’t make me Alex f***ing Fergusson, does it ? And doesn’t everyone who joins the army get paid ? They certainly don’t have to pay themselves to get in, so in actual fact, EVERYONE who joins the army gets a scholarship.

Philip, you’re still a t**t.

Debra shot herself in the foot by arguing with Nick leading to an admonishment from the big man himself. “Don’t talk to HIM like a second class citizen” clearly forgetting himself that referring to someone sat next to you as HIM is cat’s mother territory.

Mona will be next to go, if she hasn’t decided to completely go into hiding, while James is improving every week. He’s now improved up to the level of village idiot.

And Philip. He’s still a big t**t.