So, the East Midlands Derby is nigh. Again. The third Forest Derby game at the City Ground in less than 7 months. The cost of seat cleaning disinfectant leading to a cancellation of transfer bids on defenders. “What’s that Mr Ryan ? Improve our bid for Matt Mills to £3million ? Sorry, but the Dettol bill’s just come in, and we’ve got them again at the end of August.”

The game itself could go either way, our defence is still shambolic while at the other end, we’re just not yet firing on all cylinders. Yet. Maybe Saturday will be the day, maybe not. Derby on the other hand are flying, absolutely hammering newly twice promoted Peterborough and relegation favourites Plymouth, while only losing to Premiership certainties Scunthorpe & Rotherham.

A lack of trains will increase the number of horse & carts on Nottingham’s streets come Saturday, while I’m sure Ikea will get their usual post Derby visit increase in sales as the sheep bothering faithful return to Derby with stories of painted furniture, cold AND hot running water, plus lights that stay on as if by magic at the flick of something called a ‘switch’.

Derby fans will tell you that they’re the dominant team in the East Midlands now and have been for a few years. We took over in the late seventies and won the league, back-to-back European Cups, 57 League Cups with countless other Wembley Cup Final appearances. They over took us ten or so years back and won …… bugger all. No, sorry, they did beat Newcastle.

So a win on Saturday and Forest will be back to their rightful top of the pecking order East Midland’s wise, while Derby fans go back to fiddling with their attendance figures and their wild animals.

And all the while, the pantomime that is Notts County trundles on down the lane. Derby fans must be crapping themselves in their tattered rags knowing that in possibly as little as 2 years, our Championship rivalry won’t be with their dirty little team at the other end of the A52, but our Swedish led neighbours from over the river.

And where would that leave little Derby ?

Like Leicester, and I wouldn’t want to wish that on anyone !!!