Lucky Col Gold

The one thing you can guarantee about satellite channels showing re-runs of 'Have I Got News For You', 'Top Gear' or 'Buzzcocks' is, if you wait long enough , you get the same program coming round over & over again.

In the same way, I would like to remind you of my views of the X-Factor winner and the coveted number 1 spot in the Christmas charts, as previously written in December 2005, and again in December 2006.

I'd like to, but I can't.

This year has been a strange one for me personally, full of ups & downs. But by far the biggest up is the fact that I no longer have to watch the human garbage that is the X-Factor. I can honestly say I haven't had to endure a solitary minute of the brainless, manufactured, in-no-way-at-all fixed rubbish produced for your mind-less, throw-their-voting-money-down-a-drain thickoes pumped out by ITV from early April, culminating in the grand final a couple of weeks before Christmas.

Not one second.

I haven't had to put up with pretending that the judges see every single act going through. There are people still so stupid as to believe they do. Do the maths, you dullards.

I haven't had to put up with acts 'bigged up' by the production staff, who clearly haven't got an earthly of rubbing two brain cells together, let alone finding a tune in their smoke filled lungs, who are then 'unexpectedly' rubbished by the judges, humiliating them in front of ten million equally thick viewers.

I haven't even had to put up with the judges spontaneously, and in no way scripted (oh no!!!), throwing water all over each other.

So I don't know who's going to win this year, let alone give a shit.

But I bet I can guess the sort of gullible morons still in with a chance:

• I bet there's a crap boy / girl-band still left in, one member of which is clearly carrying the rest, and it'll be them that'll drop the rest of them like a hot rock as soon as Simon Cowell decides it's time for them to go, sorry, they're voted off by the general public. Ooops.



• I bet there's an older singer, quite good as it happens, who's had a bit of life struggle, maybe an illness, maybe a disabled child to look after, and this is their last chance to escape the pubs & clubs circuit. They won't, even if Simon Cowell decides to let them win. Sorry, sorry, even if the general public vote for them to win. Must stop making that simple mistake.



• There'll still be a quirky act left in, classical singer or the like, just to keep the grannies watching & voting their pensions down the swanny.



• And there'll still be an annoying Scottish act in, more than likely a smart-mouthed, early twenties clone of every other smart-mouthed, early twenties boy-next-door, to keep all the 15 year old girls interested, sorry, voting.

Am I right ?

I don't care.

I'm more bothered about who wins 'Strictly Come Dancing'.

So long as it's not Kelly or Miss Piggy, I'm easy.