Lucky Col's Review of the Year

Here goes .....

It's been a strange year. After a sustained period of downs & downs over the past few years, I looked forward to a better time this year. That lasted about 2 minutes into the New Year celebrations when it was made perfectly clear to me that it was going to be a bad one. However, what started badly has ended up better than I ever expected, and will continue to get better & better. I just have to make sure that the important people around me are included in that upturn.

But, enough about me, what have we all learned this year.

January

If a barmaid pours a pint over your new shoes, then says she'll buy you another one for the trouble; she won't. And on my birthday !

February

There IS a 4:30 in the morning as well.

You can't get on the London Underground with a car-park ticket. (Fortunately it wasn't me looking like a clown while 2,000 inpatient cockneys all pile up behind)

March

60%, 70% & 80% all mean the same thing. Nothing.

Every single Johnny Cash song is about breaking up in one way or another.

It's still possible to make classic television (Life On Mars) and there's still some good bands coming through (The View / The Pigeon Detectives). However, there's still s**t television (X Factor) and some s**t music (anything from X Factor)

April

Even if you're at your absolute lowest, following years of unrelenting & unmitigated s***e, pain & heartache, even when you're left with virtually nothing, not even your pride, there's always someone eager to kick you while you're down.

But on the up side, beer has fewer calories than Orange Juice.

May

Forest 2:5 Yeovil. The realisation that Forest CAN actually get worse. As it stands now, I don't think they can get any lower. Which inevitably means they will.

June

There are no limits to how far the British public will shove their heads in the sand to avoid the bleedin' obvious. Most of Yorkshire under 10 foot of water, what could possibly have caused that ? The British public decided in their wisdom that the cause behind this was Rihanna being #1 for so long with a song called Umbrella. Nothing to do with global warming, then ?

Britain doesn't have talent.

Sitting watching Derbyshire getting hammered at cricket in the sun is a fantastic use of a whole afternoon / evening.

July

While the rest of the year saw more turmoil than, well, the same turmoil as the previous 5 years, I knew all year what I'd be doing on July 27.

August

Things that have been round the corner for years can prove to be the best things in the world.

The walk from my house to the BPitW takes roughly 20 minutes, and not the hour and a half I gave it, just to be safe.

September

While sportsmanship is still alive & well, Forest are still capable of shooting themselves in the foot when in a winning position.

Identical twins, formed when one fertilized egg splits, are the only people in the world with identical DNA. Possibly the only serious thing I've learned all year, but I doubt I'll ever get to seriously use it.

It's never a good idea to write your name on the wall of the building you've just burgled. F**k-wit.

October

Mushy peas are STILL the best vegetable in the world.

The Beer Festival just keeps getting better and better.

Clams can live for over 400 years when left alone. Who knows how much longer they could live for if they were just allowed to just get on with their lives in peace instead of being dredged up.

November

Teachers "In Service Training" days always fall on a Friday, just after pay-day. Go figure. What are the odds on that ?

Steve McClown is a tactically inept, clueless half-wit. Fortunately, he's now an unemployed, tactically inept, clueless half-wit. The FA are to have a complete "root & branch" investigation into what went wrong with the last appointment. In summary, the FA publicly approaching one coach, only for him to very publicly turn us down and then offering it to someone else on a very much second-choice basis. Glad they haven't done that again. Do you want the job Jose ? No ? OK, then. Mr Capello, how about you ?

The Police ARE allowed to board a train, shoot someone in the head, lie about the circumstances to cause confusion & fear AND then get away with it. And they say terrorists are a threat.

December

Getting kicked in the face really really hurts.

The NYPD doesn't actually have a choir. It does have a pipes & drums band, as described here. You see, I don't just make this rubbish up you know, there's an element of research to this rubbish.

Having everything taken away from you makes you realise that what you're left with is a whole lot more.