Disappointment will get you in the end

Deprived of the bi-annual disappointment of watching England get knocked out of a major tournament, usually on penalties, usually to a team you know we would be capable of beating if only we played to our strengths and didn't just hoof it long for the big lad up front to flick on to the shorter, quicker lad who's usually stood thirty yards away, this summer comes the disappointment of picking a side, the f***ing world cup holders no less, only to watch them capitulate to dobbin the sea-side pony, his ten mates and the linesman.

Keith Hackett, the referee's assessor can claim Van Eeyore's goal was technically on-side all he likes, there's not a chance in the world the linesman knew that, he cocked up good and proper, and just got lucky.

So while the rest of the world laughed as a dutch team passed their way to pretty much guaranteed progression from their group, I was left almost crying into my brand new Italy shirt.

Crying at the waste of £20, but also crying full in the knowledge that, after last nights game, it's a bloody good job England DIDN'T qualify.

Because, owing to the nature of the ability of both sets of teams last night, the current England squad would have been a comparable laughing stock.