How thick can you get ?

The Apprentice bumbles on from one w**ker filled episode to the next, each one relieving Sir Alan Sugar of another wannabee sycophant.

But this week's takes the biscuit.

Create an occasion, design greetings cards and sell them to big greeting card sellers.

National Singles' Day (or Singles, or Single's) wasn't too bad an idea in my opinion, but the question arose from who would actually buy the cards in the first place.

"I've got quite a few single friends" piped up Rafe. Quite. I wonder why.

But the idea from the other team was just mind-blowingly-stupid.

Drive to Tescos' (or Tescos, or Tesco's, whatever), buy a card, buy a stamp, send it through the Royal Mail postal system (lorries, planes, vans etc) to encourage the recipient to be more Green !

How f***ing more stupid can you get ?

And yet none of the in-bred-educated-beyond-common-sense-fuds could spot the vital flaw in that idea.

The application form for the next series of The Apprentice is on line now at the BBC, although as it's the BBC, the winner will surely be someone who is just visiting the studio on that particular day.

One of the questions is:

Why should you be Sir Alan's next apprentice ?

Because I'm as thick as two short planks resting in a bucket of very thick pig s**t. I think I'm a very good sales-person, but would actually struggle to sell cream-cakes to Chris Moyles. I would shaft every single other person in the recruitment process, but don't let that tell you I can't work as part of a team. So long as that team is shafting another team.

Follwed by:

What makes you different from everyone else applying ?

Clearly nothing.

They did miss a trick here, there is a clear gap in the greetings card market, and it goes like this:

Thanks for the invite, but sorry, I won't be able to attend your wedding this weekend because, quite selfishly, you've decided to get married at 3pm on a Saturday during the football season. I know you don't like football, but that's your problem. Your other problem is that during your ceremony, half the congregation will be listening to small portable radios instead of you making the most important public speach you're ever likely to make, except for confiming your name & date of birth in court, while you'll also forever wonder why there are no blokes on any of your wedding photos, unless of course you have them taken in the nearest pub which has SKY. Enjoy your day and I'll see you at the free bar at the reception at 6. Unless it goes into extra time, in which case it'll be nearer 7.