Stanley, there's only one Stanley .....

Thanks to McG, I'm off to see a certain Stanley Victor Collymore in an audience at The Approach on Tuesday night.

People who know me will know that I regard Mr Collymore as probably the best footballer ever to wear the Garibaldi, but that he is also probably the biggest waste of talent this country has ever seen football wise.

My opinion goes on to believe that if he'd have had, say, Alan 'dull as f***' Shearer's attitude to the game, Stan would still be the Man not only for Forest, but for England as well. We'd have never have heard of David Beckham, Glenn Hoddle's England side would have won the World Cup in '98, and Forest would now be one of the established top four, with a nice Russian owner, laughing as Chelsea & Dirty Leeds battle it out for the Third Division.

But he doesn't, England didn't and every time I watch Forest in said Third Division, the last thing I feel like doing is laughing.

I'll review it I'm sure after the event, but I'll predict some of the subjects that'll get an airing:

Waste of talent

Dogging

Ulrika Johnson

Spice Boys

Sharon Stone

Hopefully, we'll get to ask some questions. These'll be mine:

Just how thick is Jason McAteer ?

Had he stayed at Forest, how big an extension to his mum's house would he have had to have built to store all his trophies & medals ?

Paul Stretford. Why ?

To get on in Hollywood, Sean Bean had to put on an OxBridge accent. How does Stan think he can break Hollywood sounding like Benny from Crossroads ?