Carrot or stick ?

Forest were 8 points clear in November. 8 points !!!! Then Christmas came along. Some of the players reverted to type and decided to celebrate promotion 6 months early and more vigorously than professional sportsmen should. Cue the usual back page stories Forest fans have gotten bored with.

Fast forward to now and suddenly we've got the attacking free-flowing machine we always knew we had, it just never seemed to be let off the leash.

And the two main cogs in this up and coming unstoppable force ?

Kris Commons & Jack Lester.

What do these two players have in common ?

Both are out of contract at the end of the season.

Jack Lester probably has one more contract in his legs from Forest, while Commons enjoys living with his mum too much to want to move to the West Midlands.

It's amazing what the lure of a shiny new deal can do to improve effort on a Saturday afternoon.

Next season, can we start these contract negotiations in November, so the motivational aspect can be used to full effect.

Sign the National Full Pints Petition

CAMRA, the beer consumers' champion, wants to see an end to short beer measures and they need your help. Please sign their National Full Pints Petition today.

The current law means you may receive a pint only 90% full. The Government is allowing beer consumers to be cheated out of £1.3 million every single day. As a beer drinker you stand a one in four chance of being served a pint of beer that is 5% short or more.

In the 1997 General Election the Labour Party promised that it would protect consumers from short beer measures. Ten years on the Government are yet to keep its promise. Please sign up to the National Full Pints Petition to call on the Government to keep to its word and end short beer measures.

De La Soul

3 is the magic number

• 3 games to go before Saturday


• 3 teams to go up


• 3 goals against Bournemouth


• 3 goals for Bristol City away at Carlisle


• 3 on the Richter scale when Grant Holt attempted his overhead kick late in the second half. He was taken off immediately afterwards, probably on advice from the ground staff. (From Wikipedia, 3 on the Richter scale equates to: "Often felt, but rarely causes damage.". Sums up Grant holt nicely on Saturday.)


• The division Forest will be in next season ? 3 ?

Very useful statistic

Beer has fewer calories than Orange Juice.

I'll remember that one.

Bad news and bad news for GMTV

Bad news for GMTV, some viewers have been "losing millions" on fixed telephone competitions. You'd think they'd notice.

But, more bad news, pschologists are recommending that children under 3 shouldn't watch television at all.

Well that's GMTV's target audience wiped out in one foul swoop!

Proof, if proof were needed

From the BBC, Alcohol 'makes fruit healthier'.

At last, scientists work on something useful.

Expect to hear the following results any time soon:

• Alcohol 'makes kebabs seem like a good idea'


• Alcohol 'makes long walks home seem shorter'


• Alcohol 'makes members of the opposite sex seem more attractive'

The best thing I've heard in ages

The Mary Onettes (see what they did?)

It's like every decent 80's indie band rolled into one.

Check them out here.

I know ....

.....what I'll be doing tomorrow.

I'm pretty sure what I'll be doing next week, probably.

The week after's a bit more sketchy.

And next month, no chance, haven't a clue what I'll be up to.

But I know where I'll be on July 27.

Oh yes

Why .....

..... is there a budgie on the front of the Evening Post ?

Remember finger-nails ?

After the valiant but ultimately fruitless scramble for the play-offs last season, surely this season will end differently. Eight points clear early doors, and suddenly it was "when" and not "if" we went up. But players on the p**s (again), dodgy referees (again) and strange tactical decisions (yes, again) mean Forest head into the last three games more in hope than expectation for automatic promotion.

To everyone except me, that is.

I fully expect Forest to head into their last game of the season, at home to Crewe, knowing three points will take us up automatically. Following the second half turn-around at Brentford, even Colin Calderwood would spot the advantages of a more positive attitude. Continue that in the last three games and suddenly the squad we have had on paper all season will transfer its ability to the green stuff Trent-side. Nine points from these three outings will mean Blackpool finish behind us & Bristol City would need at least five points to stay in second, something I personally don't think they'll get from their remaining fixtures, which include difficult games at Carlisle & Millwall.

Predictions are a wonderful thing. Try it yourself here.

Now that my heart has had its say, time for me to turn my head back on ........

Forest 1:1 Rotherham

Back to my spiritual home in the Upper Bridgford, and a good pint with an old Newshouse mate before the game. As he rightly pointed out, it was the first time he'd got into the ground as early as half past two, and I still made him miss the kick-off.

That was the high-light of the afternoon, it went down-hill from there on in.

A fair result, really, and to be fair, we were lucky to get the one, although it was as clear cut a penalty as you're ever likely to see.

What is it with special offer ticket prices, bumper crowds and then pish performances?

I don't want to start with slagging the manager off (I'll leave my vitriol on that score to Steve McClown), but when you're drawing 1:1 at home to one of the worst teams in the country and you make two substitutions, the last thing I would expect are two defenders coming on.

Come on Col, sort it out.

Protein links T. rex to chickens

From the BBC:

Protein extracted from 68 million-year-old T. rex bones has shed new light on the evolutionary link between dinosaurs and birds.
Researchers compared organic molecules preserved in the T. rex fossils with those of living animals, and found they were similar to chicken protein.

If you notice, the BBC have also, quite helpfully(!), published a picture of a T-Rex and a chicken, both looking in the same direction, just in case you didn't know what each animal looked like, and to prove that they look quite similar(???). Thanks for that.

While this may be interesting to the scientists, all this makes me want to do, through millions of years of inherited DNA from my cave-man ancestors, is run up to the nearest chicken, grab hold of its scrawny neck and shout:

"Not so f***ing big now, are you. Go on, bite my head off now you b*****d!!"

How do I get on one of these courses ?

Don't let anyone tell you that graduates are the cream of intellect in this country.

Boffins in the department of the bleedin' obvious took 1,000 hours (a THOUSAND hours) to establish that the best bacon sandwich consisted of bacon between two slices of bread.

Is it any wonder that global warming's such a problem when it takes them that long to suss out breakfast ?

Ear candy for Easter

How many can you name ?

A bit of a redesign at Indie-MP3, but still all the links to fantastic music, old AND new.

If you've never been, you don't know what you're missing.....

How cool are these ?

Could be a limited edition, or even an April Fool gag, but how cool are these ?

Forest 3:0 Cheltenham

Better late than never .....

This is why the third division is so poor, rubbish teams with rubbish players (Craig Armstrong !!!!!) playing rubbish football, all watched over by rubbish officials.

Kris 'nearly as big as me but not quite' Commons wins the ball in a hard-but-fair 50:50 and passes it back to the half-way line to build from the back. The referee spots the oppo lying where Kris 'nearly as big as me and getting close to be honest' Commons had neatly left him, and decides to stop play to allow the trainer on. Following his miraculous recovery 10 seconds later, the referee then awards one of those pointless uncontested drop-balls and tells Gary Holt to give the ball to the Cheltenham goalkeeper !!!!!

What's the point of winning the ball if you have to give it back because the opposition centre-half is so slow he gets himself tackled by Kris 'actually thinking about it he is probably bigger than me' Commons ?????

Rubbish.

Good result, though !

And then .......

A good result at Bristol City, so long as we didn't lose, we're still on for automatic promotion. Fingers crossed. We'll know a lot more this time next week.

They get everywhere

Next time you think of complaining about the loud idiot on the bus telling the whole world they're on their way home, think about all the places you could go where you wouldn't get disturbed by plinky plinky renditions of Britney Spears.

• The bottom of the ocean


• Most of Wales


• The top of Mount Everest

Scrap the last one, because this clown wants to climb Everest just to make the highest mobile phone call.

Is nothing sacred ?

He won't have to worry about topping-up whilst he's at the top, there's bound to be a Tesco's up there.