Lucky Col
Dance as though nobody's watching, love like it's never going to hurt

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Ear worm #10

Forest 0:0 Swansea

The atmosphere's always better at night games, but this one was a little bit subdued. Swansea City were the visitors, and there was a definite air of concern over the outcome. While we sometimes struggle to beat teams we shouldn't even have to worry about, here were a side quite justifiably top by a distance, and we could have been facing up to a right royal hammering.

As it turned out, it was a good game, the first half the best 45 minutes of football I've seen at Forest in years, nice passing, attacking football, swift breaks from both sides, plenty of chances, football as it should be.

The second half petered out a little as Swansea began to settle for a point more useful to them than us.

But, and this is still a huge BUT, had Forest played 4-4-2, with the best players in the correct positions, we would have won this and won it comfortably. There is no doubt in my mind that man for man, we had the best 11 on the pitch, but, football is a team game, and Roberto 'why has he got a woman's coat on' Martinez has got his 11 players playing better as a team, ball on the floor, wingers on the wings, not giving the ball away. Simple stuff. Simple, but ridiculously effective.

Grant Holt is NOT a winger while Arron Davies is sat on the bench like a plum.

If Neil Lennon can go, why is he even there at all ? When he came on in the second half it was clearly because Calderwood had decided we weren't passing it backwards enough.

If Leeds don't bottle it post-Wise, they should join Swansea in the top two, leaving us the lottery and ultimately inevitable heartbreak of the play-offs.

And it shouldn't have to be like that.

A nice Sunday walk

Bad head from the night before, how about some coffe and a walk round the lake at Wollaton Park ?


4th year running

Saturday was the 4th annual 'Drink the menu at the Lion' challenge, and a good time was had by all.
The best was probably the Titanic Black Ice, whereas the perry was bloody awful.

Big turn-out, none of whom secretly hated being there, which was a bit different to the last 3 years. Bonus.

Roll on number 5, but will the location be the same ........

Friday, January 25, 2008

Another Friday music selection

Well, it's the weekend again, and even if a serious bout of man flu (is there any other ???) has knocked out most of this week, I know that this weekend will bring much fun, oh yes.

So, to give you something to listen to .....

On 6music this morning and still sounding fantastic:

Stereolab - French Disko

My Musical Romance has a new batch of videos for you to enjoy, this month the Arctic Monkeys get the promotion they deserve but quite rightly don't need. He misses off what I think is their best video. They're not in it, which is a bonus as they've clearly swapped looks for talent:

Please check out My Musical Romance, if not for the music, for the funny 'Human Tetris' video.

Arctic Monkeys - Leave before the lights come on

And finally, Feist is touring the UK in May, I've got my ticket already thank-you very much, the Royal Albert Hall down in that there London. Ooooh, get me:

Feist - My moon my man

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Ah well

Scott Dobbin goes to Carlisle for a "nominal fee". Quite what we had to pay Carlisle to take this walking definition of the phrase 'cart-horse' off our hands isn't clear, but it's got to be better than the thousands of nose-bags we had to ship into Nottingham on a regular basis.

I can only think of one highlight in his entire Forest career, and this is it, leaving.

Under the terms of the agreement Dobie will not be eligible to play against Forest this season.

Ah well, we can't have it all.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

New Year, same bleedin' obvious survey results

You'd have thought that nearly a decade into the 21st century, our scientists would be working towards hyper-drives, star-trek-esque teleport systems or even little cartons of cream that don't spill out when you open them.

But what have those clever boffins at the Office for National Statistics found at this week ?

Drum-roll please ...........

Men drink more than women.

Well f**k me.

Friday, January 18, 2008

I don't know what's worse

That an RAF airman flying solo over Lincolnshire is out on the p**s 'til all hours


The future king of Britain thinks that the Pitcher & Piano and Oceana constitute a good night out.

(from the Nottingham Evening Post)

Hope Not Hate

Message from Hope Not Hate:

Our Hope not Hate T-shirt which (can be) bought from ... has been hugely successful. Not only have the shirts popularised a positive message against the hate-fillled division the BNP seeks to foster, we have also raised thanks to the sales valuable funds for local community-led campaigns against the BNP.

2008 will be a crucial year to stop the BNP. Although they didn't gain more councillors in 2007 across 742 wards contested the BNP averaged a worrying 14.6% of the vote. This year they have a very real chance of getting elected on to the Greater London Assembly, they need just 5% of the vote across London, and in 2004 they came very close with 4.8% but their vote was split with UKIP who are likely to do much worse this time.

How can you help? PLEASE visit the new campaign website PLEASE email 5 friends or contacts about the website (more if you can!) link to it. Viral campaigning DOES WORK. The site has been set up by our friends at Searchlight magazine, fantastic campaigners against the BNP and entirely committed to broad, community-led inititiatives which have been shown to work, but are neeeded this year in London to work again. As the activities against the BNP develops in 2008 we will write again with details of how to be involved.

Of course our Hope not Hate shirt, the brand new Holocaust Memorial T-shirt and the International Brigade banners range all remain available at

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Thank you

As previewed earlier in the week, last night was spent in the company of Mr Stanley Victor Collymore.

I like football pundits who add something to the commentary. Alan Hansen is a bugger for simply describing exactly what has just happened. I can see what has just happened, Alan, I want to know why, what sort of training techniques went into a move, what anecdotes can you tell us over & above the gutter press stories. Stan falls distinctly into this category (Pat Nevin is another), his comments are frank, honest (sometimes almost painfully too honest) and come with an air of someone who does their homework, who gets around training grounds and keeps up to date. If the media is Stan's new profession, he's making a very good job of it.

The first half of the evening involved Stan in conversation with Darren Fletcher, who used to be Garry Birtles minder on that radio station no-one listened to, before landing himself probably my dream job of getting paid to talk about football. Jammy bastard. All good stuff.

An example of Stan's honesty comes from the question "His biggest regret". In a room full of Forest fans it would have been so easy to say 'leaving Forest'. But no, not succeeding at Villa, his home town club, was his biggest. It's when someone can be this honest that it doesn't matter whether you agree with everything they say, you are just happy to hear their opinion.

So, a half time pint before the second half and questions from the audience.

It was at this point that it started to get a little bit strange ......

I know who reads this stuff, there are about half a dozen regulars from around the world and about half a dozen more who dip in every couple of months or so, but I know who they all are. Never did I realise that Mr Collymore himself had not only read my little preview, but had printed it off for use in the act.

The first question in the second half was:

Who's Lucky Col ?

Oh shit.

I don't like performing, so being asked to get up on stage was a touch uncomfortable. I think the Mallard's may have helped. I had to stand there while Mr Collymore read out the whole piece, all of it, including my waste of talent opinion (gulp). He answered the "How thick is Jason McAteer ?" question by telling everyone Jason's nick-name at Liverpool was Trigger, but was more interested in the final question:

To get on in Hollywood, Sean Bean had to put on an OxBridge accent. How does Stan think he can break Hollywood sounding like Benny from Crossroads ?

A fair question, I thought. He was more interested in what my voice sounded like, and we were going to find out by me singing "You've lost that Loving Feeling" in front of the fairly large crowd.

And it was a fairly large crowd. For me at any rate. Certainly the biggest I've ever performed in front of. Because, you see, I can honestly say that, at the tender age of 39, I've never ever ever, not once, not even one tiny bit, ever, sang Karaoke. Partly because I don't want to, but mainly because I know I can't sing for toffee.

So, there we were, Stan (I think I can call him Stan from now on) & I duetting on the Forest anthem. The not-so-Righteous Brothers.

So, thank you Stan for giving us a cracking evening's entertainment.

Thank you for helping me continue my fantastic start to the year.

Thank you for taking my gibbering rantings in the good nature they were originally written.

Thank you for Peterborough.

Thank you for picking yourself up when others less strong would have simply folded.

Thank you for opening yourself to us, and others, to help or simply entertain.

And thank you for being my first, and let's be honest only, singing partner.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Ear worm #9

Wipes tear away from eye

From the Nottingham Evening Post:

Monday, January 14, 2008

How hard can it be ?

In a sport, and I use the word 'sport' with a huge reservation, where the only 'skill' seems to be how aerodynamic you can be, where gravity does most, if not all, of the work, surely the pre-start checklist for a ski jumper simply goes as follows:

  • Tie sticks to feet
  • Stand up

    You've then got to worry about this Darwin award shoe-in when he gets one of those two things completely wrong.

    Give it up now, you muppet, before it's too late.

  • New dictionary definitions


    Is the sound made by people who watch the current English Tourist Board advert who didn't realise that the music (English Rose) was recorded by The Jam.

    Stanley, there's only one Stanley .....

    Thanks to McG, I'm off to see a certain Stanley Victor Collymore in an audience at The Approach on Tuesday night.

    People who know me will know that I regard Mr Collymore as probably the best footballer ever to wear the Garibaldi, but that he is also probably the biggest waste of talent this country has ever seen football wise.

    My opinion goes on to believe that if he'd have had, say, Alan 'dull as f***' Shearer's attitude to the game, Stan would still be the Man not only for Forest, but for England as well. We'd have never have heard of David Beckham, Glenn Hoddle's England side would have won the World Cup in '98, and Forest would now be one of the established top four, with a nice Russian owner, laughing as Chelsea & Dirty Leeds battle it out for the Third Division.

    But he doesn't, England didn't and every time I watch Forest in said Third Division, the last thing I feel like doing is laughing.

    I'll review it I'm sure after the event, but I'll predict some of the subjects that'll get an airing:

  • Waste of talent
  • Dogging
  • Ulrika Johnson
  • Spice Boys
  • Sharon Stone

    Hopefully, we'll get to ask some questions. These'll be mine:

  • Just how thick is Jason McAteer ?
  • Had he stayed at Forest, how big an extension to his mum's house would he have had to have built to store all his trophies & medals ?
  • Paul Stretford. Why ?
  • To get on in Hollywood, Sean Bean had to put on an OxBridge accent. How does Stan think he can break Hollywood sounding like Benny from Crossroads ?

  • And while I'm at it

    Got any spare change, mate ?Peter Hain isn't guilty of breaking the rules of members interests, oh no, he's just a victim of poor administration.

    A quick check of my bank account this morning confirmed to me that I hadn't been a similar victim of this poor administration.

    You never know, I might have been given just over a hundred thousand pounds and possibly forgot, or just administered it in a poor way.

    And this guy is in charge of my pension!!!!!


    An easier boycott to swallow

    Having just gotten over my own boycott of Marston's Pedigree, it now seems that D***y County are to be backed by Starbucks, the American purveyors of mass produced sludge-in-a-mug. Won't be going there again, then.

    And not for any other of the 15million odd reasons you can find to boycott Starbucks if you look not at all closely on the internet.

    From the Daily Mail (and before anyone else says it, I know, I know, the f***ing Daily Mail. In my defence I didn't actually buy it to read, just had it pointed out to me from somewhere else, ok. I provide this link as proof that I'm not making this up. If you're not interested in the Diana inquest, whether Peter Hain should be hung, drawn & quartered and how either of those things will impact on your mortgage, don't click the link.)

    Friday, January 11, 2008

    Something for the weekend - Firsts

    There was a discussion over the Christmas break on BBC 6 Music as to what was the first record you ever bought.

    And also over the same period, I stood with a tear in one eye as my 10 year old went to the counter of Fopp to purchase his first slice of music.

    Not a tear of fatherly pride, more of pity, since it was a 'My Chemical Romance' CD. Have I taught him nothing ?

    Anyway, seeing as it's the weekend I'll use the magic of YouTube to answer 6 Music's question.

    Enjoy .....

    First single - The Specials (Gangsters) b/w The Selecter (The Selecter). I had to explain to my son what this meant. "What's a single, dad ?"

    Album - Yazoo (Upstairs at Erics)

    Concert - The Damned (Rock City '86)

    Thursday, January 10, 2008

    The Bridal Shop

    A bit of a quiet time music wise this time of year, and the 'samey' nature of a lot of the bands coming through isn't blowing my head away, there's a lot of 'classic' listening going on at the moment.

    Maybe I'm getting old, as I slide uncontrollably towards my 39th birthday, or maybe I never liked the idea of skinny jeans in the first place, my legs are too muscular to pull them off, or on first, let's be honest.

    So god bless the 'indie-mp3 keeping C86 alive' website.

    More chaff than wheat, admittedly, but there's some absolute gems on there.

    The latest, The Bridal Shop.

    See what you think here.


    Tuesday, January 08, 2008

    Why didn't I think of that ?

    From the BBC:

    A Mexican boy glued his hand to his bed because he did not want to go back to school after the Christmas break.

    Good thinking from the young lad, I could have done that myself instead of having to return to work after the Christmas & New Year holidays.

    But later on comes the reason why:

    His mother spent two hours trying to free him with nail-polish remover before calling for expert help.

    Diego watched cartoons while paramedics dissolved the glue with a spray.

    As anyone will tell you, the best way of getting your possibly skiving kids to school isn't to let them watch cartoons.

    Put a bit of Jeremy Kyle on, they'll be begging to go back.

    Monday, January 07, 2008

    If only it was .....

    ..... The One and Only.

    F**k me, the BBC has finally managed to scrape through the bottom of the barrell and is now well on its way to digging through the concrete below.

    A competition to find the best tribute act ? What is the world coming to ?

    But don't worry if you missed it on BBC last Saturday night. Do what I'm going to do.

    Completely miss it on BBC's new iPlayer as well.

    Head bowed

    I've said it before, I'll say it now and I'm pretty sure I'll say it again, you won't find a better Forest site than Stress & Pie. There's a link on the right hand side of this page to see why.

    Their report of the Huddersfield game, the shockingly poor refereeing, the cheating Huddersfield players and the fantastic fight-back are all covered, but in their own individual style.

    One section fully sums up what it is to be a Forest fan, no, a football fan in general, far better than I ever could. I'll reproduce that section here. Go to their site to read the rest, but be quick, it will be gone after the next game.

    When I read this, I bow my head in acknowledgement .....

    LAW NUMBER THREE You have to be there

    The ref may be diabolical, the opposition primeval, the players as confused as their manager, but every so often you are part of an experience that blows away all the doubts and leaves you breathless. There came a moment in this match when the players and the crowd forged a common will, when the whole place came alive with a fierce determination to put things right, to win. Most of this experience will always be a blur, but you do remember it in moments. The absolute shock when the penalty was awarded. Watching Wilson troop dejectedly down the tunnel. The torrent of deserved abuse directed at the referee. A miserable half-time when some bloke tried to hit a plastic bottle with a football. The heart-in-mouth stuff as their forwards had shots at goal, and that odd conviction that they wouldn't score again. The growing tension as we began to dominate possession with ten men. The screams of encouragement and frustration. Commons tackling their prime diver with such ferocity that he limped off. People standing. Cohen coming on, looking awkward and leggy until he found himself in a shooting position. You can hear the thud of his boot on the ball and the smack as it deflects off a defender. The ball looping over their goalkeeper and hitting the net. McGoogle, pissing around again on the edge of their area before rolling the defender and blasting it home. That moment when you can't quite believe it's gone in, when you look at the referee, when you think the players are celebrating prematurely, and then the huge noise around you which goes on for ages ... the last two minutes, whistling for the end of the game. Agogo collapsing. The Uddersfield players sinking to their knees. The singing as you leave the ground. The news that Leed have lost. Days like this are treasures.

    Friday, January 04, 2008

    Ear worm #8

    Wednesday, January 02, 2008

    Quick, get some soup in

    Anyone who's been outside today will have noticed it's a little bit nippy. Not cold, or Baltic, just a touch parkie.

    But, if you look on the BBC website, you'd think that hell itself was about to freeze over.

    We're forecast some snow. How much ? A foot ? Two feet ? More ?!!!!

    No. Up to 4 centimetres. Or less than 2 inches in old money.

    Or 6 inches if you're a bloke.

    The likelihood of frost and icy roads - coupled with poor visibility - may make driving hazardous in the worst hit areas, particularly on untreated roads.

    What ? In January, who'd have imagined that happening.

    And even then it's not going to settle for long:

    BBC weather presenter Chris Fawkes said there would be little time for building snowmen, especially in southern England.

    "It will turn milder on Thursday night across the South. But snow in eastern Scotland and the North East could settle."

    The weekend however would be warmer, with wind and rain, he said.

    So the BBC have very kindly put up some useful advice to avoid trouble in the very short period the whole country will be gridlocked because of the cataclysmic weather.

    Warm clothing. Genius. Glad they mentioned that, wouldn't have thought of that myself.

    De-icer for the car, always handy at this time of year, thanks for the reminder you egg-sucking morons.

    But the best one, plan you journey before leaving home. What ? Instead of setting off in your car with no idea of where you're heading, turning corners at random.

    Best of luck everyone, sounds like we're going to need it.

    Forest 2:1 The referee

    After a heavy session celebrating the new year, getting up on New Year's day was always going to be a struggle. And so it transpired. Boo.

    But that didn't last long, a fantastic hang-over busting fry-up (I'll leave the dieting for later) and the chance to watch Forest for free sets up the new year to be a good one. Hooray.

    The beer wasn't flowing very well in the Boat Club before the game, however, and I wasn't alone. The non-existent queue for the beer at half-time in the Trent End testament to the average excesses of most of the regular customers.

    And the game couldn't have got off to a slower start, either. I could have kept up with most of them, Huddersfield defending their point from the off. It was going to be along afternoon.

    And it was about to get longer.

    Kelvin Wilson in a race back to goal with a quick Huddersfield player, heads the ball into Smith's arms and all three collide in a heap. The referee, for reasons none of the 18,000 Forest fans could even begin to imagine, awards a penalty and shows Kelvin Wilson a red card. What for, only he knows. One nil down, one man short and a Huddersfield team sitting eleven men behind the ball at all times. Marvellous.

    Calderwood gets it right at half time, if you've got a man short, you can't have the immobile Neil Lennon playing as well, but he'd got it wrong with his team selection in the first place. Why have Grant Holt on the left wing, lazy-a**e right-leg-is-for-standing-on-only Commons prancing around the right wing and two decent midfielders on the bench ?

    In the second 45, Huddersfield ditched their eleven men behind the ball tactics and went more defensive (!) while Forest huffed and the puffed but they still couldn't blow their way through.

    Until one of the two afore mentioned midfielders came on and grabbed a deflected equaliser.

    A point in these circumstances would have been a good one, but with Swansea dropping points, Leeds losing, Orient dropping points, a win would have been nice. Cue Lewis 'surely can't be at Forest for much longer' McGugan, a twist in the six yard box, into the top of the net, thank you and good night. And all in the four minutes of injury time Huddersfield created for themselves with their time-wasting tomfoolery during the second half.

    If you don't turn up looking for all three points, don't be disappointed when you leave with nothing.

    Will the referee reverse his red card decision ? I doubt it, but at least we haven't lost ground because of it.

    The inept fud.


    Something horrible happened to me on Christmas day.

    After finding something not quite half decent to watch on the tele, which was better than everything else pumped out this year, I found myself hearing the long since forgotten 'dum dum dum dum dum de de dum ding ding ding ding ding ding ding' of the Eastenders theme tune. Quick, change the channel, change the channel. Where are the buttons ? Don't know. Everywhere was searched, settee cushions looked under, Christmas bags rifled through, all to no avail. And all the time, the monotonous cockney drone of piss-poor z-list actors leaking from the corner of the room.

    I got ten minutes before working out how to change the channel on the box, but by then it was too late. I'd already figured out that some illiterate half-wit had recently got married to a snobby ginge, but was actually knocking off his shaven-headed-that-doesn't-quite-hide-the-fact-that-he's-still-a-ginge dad. And how did the younger lad find out ? By over-hearing some gossip accidentally recorded at a Christmas get-together.

    Well f**k me, how original is that then ? Not on a tape found in a car, or over a baby listener, oh no, but video. Woooooooo. What next, one of the characters dies in a car accident ? Or maybe hit on the head, only to die unexpectedly later of a brain-haemorrhage ?

    I've long since stopped watching Eastenders. Forced to watch during the 'miracle' of Dirty Den's reappearance and then stopped when he was killed, hit on the head by a dog statue. As opposed to an ash-tray. Why they couldn't have written Leslie Grantham out for going on a chat-room web-cam and slagging off his colleagues or killing a taxi driver I'll never know, but then realism has never been Eastenders strong point.

    I've lived in the area covered by the Eastenders map and I can tell you that there isn't the sense of community portrayed, you can't leave your door open and it definitely isn't better when one of Barbara Windsor's friends is running the local interests. The only explanation is that Walford must be an independent country. Think about it, no-tax, less traffic than Sark (which would explain the fatally dangerous jaywalking normally seen at Christmas time) and a 'one-out-one-in' immigration policy UKIP or even the BNP would be proud of.

    If you lived on Albert Square, you wouldn't stay there over Christmas, something at least Doctor Who writers are fully aware, and you wouldn't accept an invitation to spend Christmas dinner in the pub. To get away from all the hassle, maybe they should spend Christmas in Chester, a small terrace street in Manchester, or out of the way in a small Yorkshire farming community.

    Eight for 2008

    From Paulie at Never Trust a Hippy, what are my eight wishes for 2008 and what are the likelihoods of them being achieved.

    Well, 2008 can't be any worse than any of the last five years for me, several good things surrounded by dozens & dozens of lengthy crap months could have led me to be a bitter & twisted old man before my time. But, as a good friend always tells me, I could fall in a barrel of s**t and come out smelling of roses, so 2008 started so much better than last year and is definitely going to get better, oh yes.

    In no particular order:

  • Get officially divorced. (80%) There's nothing worse than trying to move on, but being kept back by red-tape. We both want it, everyone is happy to let us have it, but solicitors want it drag on and on and on and ..... Why ? What have they got to gain ? How much an hour ? Oh .....

  • Lose two stone in weight. (100%) The weight was falling off eating healthy (but occasionally dull) food, keeping up my exercise, not snacking, all the good things you are supposed to do until BANG, good food reappears into my life, all the items that you're not supposed to eat, butter, cream & double portions of everything (serves 4, I don't think so). I'm not complaining at all, no-siree-bob, but the good food has got to stop. Santa very kindly bought me a gift of Zorbing, basically sitting in a big plastic ball and being rolled down a steep hill. Bonus. To enjoy this, I have to be under 18 stone. Oooops. As soon as the Christmas chocolates have gone, an almost wasting regime is called for.

  • To travel to places I've not been to before (again, 100%. Easy this) I'm already scheduled for a stag weekend in Belfast in April, so already there on this one. A couple of the lads going are coppers, and more worryingly, dress like off duty coppers. Is it a smell thing, pheromones or something, or do they all have a crap off-duty dress code to adhere to ? You can spot an off-duty copper a mile away. I'll keep away from them. There's plenty of places I've not been to before where you can get from Nottingham East Midlands on cheap air-lines, so I've just got to get my finger out and get it sorted.

  • Forest to get promoted (50% but should be 100%) We should be walking this league and the fact that we're not is the annoying thing. Flattering to deceive on a very regular basis, getting caught out far too many times. I can't go through another Yeovil.

  • X-Factor to be scrapped (0%) You don't kill the golden goose until it's finished laying all it's golden eggs. And even then you simply rename it, change the rules slightly and flog further dead-horses to people too stupid to realise that their house has burnt down around them while they trying to vote between two showroom dummies dressed as they were told, singing what they were told, commenting what they were told. Morons.

  • Big Brother to be scrapped (again, a big fat 0%) You don't kill the golden goose until ...... etc etc. The scrapping of celebrity Big Brother is a start, but I think that's probably more due to the completely untimely death of Bernard Manning (about 40 years too late). They could get Chubby Brown or Jim Davidson to cover. Or half the Tory shadow cabinet.

  • Find the Alcazar beer shop open (10%). One in ten is about the current strike rate, and they wonder why it's not making the money. Simple advice, have some core opening hours and then stick to them. Still the best pub in the world, though.

  • To order a sandwich in Subway, tell the mindless escaped zoo exhibit serving me that I want everything on it, and then not have to answer "yes, everything please" to "do you want onions ?", "yes, EVERYTHING please" to "do you want olives" and "yes, didn't you hear me say EVERYTHING you deaf thickhead" to "do you want pickles". (Bob Hope chance).

  • Forest 2:0 Port Vale

    Kids for a quid meant a larger than normal crowd for the visit of relegation threatened Port Vale, and relegation threatened Port Vale will be if they continue to waste chances like they did against Forest. Forest passed the ball around nicely and Nathan Tyson looks a class above when fit but, there's something not quite right about Forest at the moment and that's a worrying echo from last season.

    In a nut-shell, too many players are in the wrong position to fit a system designed to be flexible.

    Bugger that, we're in the third division, not the friggin' Champions League. Play 4-4-2, play two wingers on their respective wings, two centre-halves, two full-backs and two strikers. Play Lennon by all means, but make sure the other midfielder is mobile otherwise humpsville here we come.

    A quick Collymore-esque half-way-line turn and run from Tyson set up Agogo for the first, with Lewis McGugan grabbing the second from close range. When Nathan Tyson almost inevitably went off injured, playing football left with him. Long ball football is dull at the best of times. Long ball football in the third division is turgid to say the least.

    But, and this is the point, had Port Vale taken even half their chances, we'd have lost and lost big time.

    Last season there was always a feeling that, even with the best squad of players in the division IMHO, we were deceiving ourselves with our lofty position and that feeling still remains. Top for Christmas hides away the fact that actually, we're not that good, we should be better, that this league is ours for the taking if only we kept it simple and too much managerial tinkering is costing us what should be an easy promotion push.

    Calderwood has learned some of the lessons from last year, it's whether he's turning that learning into actions that's still under debate.