Lucky Col
Dance as though nobody's watching, love like it's never going to hurt

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Sometimes it can go too far and result in pity

I know I bang on about Newcastle United, I've still got a smile on my face following their relegation, and I laugh at their self-proclaimed best-fans-in-the-country. But sometimes people's suffering can go too far, you start to feel sorry for the pitch-invading losers.

Seriously, what the f*** is this ?

So, for the second season running, the Newcastle players will turn out with a big yellow stripe down the spines.


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Good news

The City Council is going to move forward with the tram after all, so long as it's not obstructed by the toys Kay Cutts threw out of her pram over the last month.

Apparently not enough people in Nottinghamshire will benefit from the tram, meaning that those that will benefit are getting something for nothing. Has Ms Cutts seen the size of the County ? It's f***ing huge, how many lines would she want to build before it's acceptable ?

Well, to make sure those that do gain from the new trams pay their way, how about the following:

  • Everyone getting on / off the tram at a stop outside the City border has to pay double.
  • Stop the tram going into the County completely after dark. Have you been to Hucknall at night ? Exactly !
  • Turn the electricity off at the City border and make the dumb f***ers who elected a Tory council for the first time in a generation get out and push !!

  • Tuesday, June 16, 2009

    It doesn’t happen here, does it ?

    One thing I’ve learnt from life is that while it’s commonly accepted from people with similar political views to myself that the Police are commonly perceived as the enemy, the police in Nottingham, on the whole, are pretty decent.

    Watching the Police methods in London a few months back harked back to a more aggressive police approach more in common to the miners dispute & the riots of the 80’s, but in 2009 it happens down there, well away from Nottingham, by meat-head coppers publicly out for a fight. Doesn’t it ?

    However, this little incident over the weekend could make me question this outlook. See the video here, and discuss further here.

    Clearly the video doesn’t show the whole story, doesn’t show why the, ahem, victim is lying on the floor, doesn’t show what he’s done to get the attention of the police in the first place, but how bad does it have to be for him to get tasered, not once but then again while seemingly incapacitated on the ground ? Let’s not forget that the use of a taser, a potentially deadly weapon, is the last resort before getting the hand guns out. Then after his second shocking, what seems to be one policeman punching the prone victim several times. Is he trying to free his hands for the addition of handcuffs or simply harking back to a time when it was acceptable to give innocent people a bit of a slap. Yet this is clearly so far beyond the fabled days of yore when it was acceptable to ‘give ‘em a clip round the ear’ and ‘send the scamps on their way’. What next, “Shall I shoot him again, Sarge, he’s still twitching ?”

    The police reaction supports this angle, “Nottinghamshire Police's Professional Standards Department have obtained footage of the end sequence of an incident”, note the use of the word ‘end’, they clearly want you to know that they know more about this than the general public, and further “Police attended and an officer was assaulted, requiring hospital treatment”. This is clearly factually correct, but omits whether the arrestee needed hospital treatment as well and smacks of getting their verbal & legal retaliation in first.

    I have a lot of sympathy for the police on the streets of any major city on a busy evening, some of the morons bouncing around Nottingham, as any city, on a weekend evening, p***ed up, coked up, f***ed up and looking for a fight. And we expect a small band of police to stand up to this week in week out.

    However, had this bloke been with anyone in the large crowd of people at the back of the video it’s not a huge stretch of the imagination to have seen this incident spiral out of control not on the actions of a lone prone p**s-head incapacitated on the floor, but from the actions of someone who should have known, and has been trained, to perform a hell of a lot better.

    Pros and cons

    Lots of good things about working where I do:

  • Easy walk into town
  • Close to the train station
  • Easy walk to the Forest ground
  • Right near the tram
  • Free parking (for the time being, at least)
  • Close to the News House and the Vat & Fiddle

    However, today there's one significant disadvantage:

    Having to listen & watch all the cricket fans on their way to Trent Bridge, cool boxes in hand, destined for an afternoon of beer & Twenty20 cricket in the warm sun.

    The jammy b******s !!!

  • Wednesday, June 10, 2009

    Millionth English word

    The millionth English word is looming, according to a US company, Global Language Monitor. (from the BBC)

    Well, I'm sorry, but I'll think you'll find that 'looming' is already in the dictionary, so it'll have to be another word.

    Maybe 'Gullible', that's not actually a proper word, go on, look it up yourself.

    If the new word is going to be created sometime this morning, may I suggest the following:




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    Thursday, June 04, 2009

    If only I could pick 6 numbers with the same success

    The interview stage of The Apprentice always has me shouting at the TV more than usual, quite how some of these losers manage to make it to their 12th birthday without getting knocked down by a bus is beyond me, let alone be allowed anywhere near a photocopier.

    So James goes for not letting his colleagues 'spunk money up a wall' at work and for 'bringing ignorance to the table' in meetings. Jeez, I've worked with people who need telling which way round to sit at a table, yet none of them would be proud to be ignorant. Bye bye loser.

    Lorraine is Irish, apparently, something which she'd manage to hide for the rest of the program until finding her Lucky Stars just before walking into Karen Brady's office. When asked about getting her dates of employment wrong, she claimed it was just a typo and should have read 2008 instead of 2007. Oops. I'll need to change the typo on my CV now. Where it reads 'Head of ICI' it should say 'Post room operative', a simple mistake. And then she scrubs up really well on the You're Fired program, which only goes to show one thing, not only is she useless at business, but she can't even put her own slap-on properly. Bye bye loser.

    So, the last three. I don't want to blow my own trumpet here, but Clough knows I will. Way, way back in April I wrote;

    I’ve got a feeling that SirAlan has already pretty much decided on who are his favourite two or three (Debra, Kate, Yasmina) and will keep them in regardless.

    Well bugger me. To be fair I did say Newcastle would challenge the top four and Fulham would be certs for relegation last season, but at least in this case I was right.

    Debra is only 23 apparently, but has already p****d off more people than all those darned MP's expenses combined. Those were references from her company. Those were references that she gave the show as contacts. And they said she was arrogant and obnoxious. What the f**k do the others think of her, the ones she thought of passing on as referees and then thought better of it ? She did manage to instigate probably the best put down of the whole series on the You're Fired show, Jane Moore of the Sun standing up for Debra, arguing that had she been a bloke, she would have got away with acting like a t**t. 'Fuck me', exhaled Jo Brand, 'a Sun journalist with a feminist agenda', chewing the inept Sun lickspittle, spitting her out and leaving her looking like a complete idiot without the hapless moron even knowing it had happened. You can read more about Jane Moore here, but trust me, have a bucket handy.

    For Debra, Bye bye nasty loser.

    So it's down to the last two. Yasmina has no real interest in winning while Kate would argue she was on fire if you told her she needed to be & wasn't. With James gone the TV's not going to be as humorous, but with Philip back still licking the stab wounds in the back from his ex-squeeze, at least there'll be one Geordie not going down this month.

    Wednesday, June 03, 2009

    You see, this is what happens when you stay on at university

    From the BBC

    Eating a curry once or twice a week could help prevent the onset of Alzheimer's disease and dementia, a US researcher suggests.

    So, a team of researchers obviously go out on the p**s on a weekly basis, rounded off by a nice curry, hardly earth shattering stuff but in order to keep getting paid to go out on the p**s and their increasingly large curry bills, they need funding to continue.

    And not happy with this being a once a week affair;

    ... researchers were testing the impact of higher doses - the equivalent of going on a curry spree for a week - to see if they could maximise the effect.

    Genius. Where do I sign ?

    I’d agree with this piece of research, but I can’t remember how many curries I’ve had in the last week. Does this invalidate the findings ?