You've got to laugh

I don't know which of these is funnier:

Ipswich (haven't won a league game all season) beating Derby (about as likely to stay up as a baloon in a box of drawing pins).

Or .... (from the BBC)

Newcastle reveal new stadium name

Newcastle United have announced their stadium will be known as the sportsdirect.com @ St James' Park Stadium for the immediate future.

The news comes after an announcement from owner Mike Ashley that the stadium sponsorship rights were up for offer from prospective businesses.

Managing director Derek Llambias told BBC Newcastle: "We will showcase Sports Direct until the end of the season.

"I'm sure we're going to get a sponsor in for next season."

So not only does Mike Ashley p**s off even more fat geordies in tight fitting clothing, probably brought from their local SportsDirect store, for desecrating the name of their beloved football ground, but then they don't actually get any money for it because Mike Ashley owns both SportsDirect and Newcastle.

Superb, you can't write comedy like this.

Forest 1:0 Fat Pitch Invading Band Wagon Jumping Cry on the Tele Babies

A different perspective on Saturday night, owing to having something special happening on Sunday (more later) I swapped my usual Upper Trent End hard plastic seat for a lower Basford Terrace soft upholstered settee. I’m sure the atmosphere wasn’t as good, but the view on SKY was fantastic !!

The first half performance was superb, as good as it gets really. Moussi in midfield was the Guy we all raved over at the start of last season, in your face, hard as nails and breaking down the Geordie midfield. Dexter Blackstock up front could have already had a couple before rolling the ball into an empty net just before half time.

Cue the change in tempo from Newcastle, now defending further up the pitch, cancelling our extra man in midfield. They still couldn’t create anything, and when they did, the linesman’s flag came to the rescue.

Overall a good performance, certainly the first 45 minutes attacking wise. Our defence has oft been criticised for being the weak link, but only conceding one goal in the last 400 odd minutes of football speaks volumes. When that area of our game is improved, well, then we WILL start to show people what we’re all about.

Barnsley on Tuesday night, another chance to have 500 teenagers shout ‘scab’ at a very limited number of ex-working-though-the-strike-miner Forest fans who clearly didn’t give a s**t 25 years ago, let alone now. We saw after the fantastic performance against WBA the hang-over that prevailed at home to Watford. Hopefully Billy will have sorted that little head-ache out by now.

Slightly disappointed with the Newcastle fans on Saturday. Sure they turned up in numbers, and vocally supported their team, but did they do enough ? Was there any more they could have done ? Losing, against Forest, clearly not much chance of getting back into it. Surely they could have invaded the pitch or something ???!!!

Sometimes it can go too far and result in pity

I know I bang on about Newcastle United, I've still got a smile on my face following their relegation, and I laugh at their self-proclaimed best-fans-in-the-country. But sometimes people's suffering can go too far, you start to feel sorry for the pitch-invading losers.

Seriously, what the f*** is this ?

So, for the second season running, the Newcastle players will turn out with a big yellow stripe down the spines.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ............

Newcastle United

When asked which team I hate the most, and hate is probably the right word, Newcastle United is the answer. No ifs, no buts, no thinking about it. Not Derby (pity more than anything else), nor Leicester (good to see the little East Midlands teams get a shot in the big leagues), nor the Man Uniteds or Liverpools of this world with their prawn sandwich eating plastic band wagon jumping supporters.

No, for me it’s Newcastle United all the way.

When they nearly won the league a few years back and they were everybody’s favourite second team, it seemed like there was only me happy that they’d blown it, laughing at Kevin Keegan as he defended Stuart Pearce, like he ever needed defending. Fergie done him up like a kipper, guv’nor.

But why ?

Well, go back to March ’74, FA Cup qtr final, Forest drawn away at Newcastle. Forest were a decent second division side at the time against but were against one of the best teams in the top flight away from home, surely only one result ? Well, with 15 minutes to go and Forest 3-1 to the good the form book was well and truly out the window.

Cue the moment my hatred was spawned.

Newcastle fans intent on ‘supporting’ their team the only way Neanderthals know how invaded the pitch, kicking and punching anything in a red shirt as they went. The referee took the teams off until the pitch was clear before restarting the game. A clearly shaken Forest went on to lose the game 4:3, knocked out by thuggery.

The FA, in a rare moment of clarity, decided that the result shouldn’t stand, the game void. So, do we get through by default, Newcastle ejected from the competition ? No. Do we get a replay at the City Ground ? No. We get a game at a neutral venue, Goodison Park. Ah well.

A 0:0 draw, a chance to pull the mighty Newcastle to the City Ground and play them on our turf ? No, the FA, in an all to familiar moment of toadying up to the big clubs, decide that the ‘replay’ should also take place at Goodison Park. Why, what did we have to do to get a replay at home ?

A 1:0 defeat and as far as the FA is concerned all was well. Newcastle got to the final, our season petered out eventually finishing a mere four points off promotion when a top three place looked likely.

So, why bring this up now ?

Newcastle go to Aston Villa on the last day of the current Premiership season not only needing the win, but also requiring other results to go their way. Relegation to the Championship is a distinct possibility.

But Aston Villa have already secured a Europa League place for next season, whether they want it or not, so their players will be, mentally at least, feet up thinking about the beach. Surely they wouldn’t be as bothered about the result as a frantically struggling Newcastle ?

Well, if you go back to the 6th March 1974 and look at the Forest team sheet, you’d notice a young Scottish midfielder by the name of J.Robertson and an even younger Irish midfielder with the name M.O’Neill.

It might take a long time for justice to come through, but revenge is a dish best served cold, and when Newcastle go down, WHEN Newcastle go down, I’ll piss myself ‘til Christmas.