In London December 7th ?

I stand corrected

I always have a bet with my Blackburn Rovers supporting friend that they will finish in the bottom half of the table.

Last season I lost the bet.

I don't like Blackburn Rovers, but apparently, according to the Telegraph, I should.

There's me thinking Blackburn were a dirty, clueless, clogging, long-ball rag-tag band of injury-prone misfits playing in front of half a dozen in-bred northerners too stupid to watch attractive football anywhere else in Lancashire who somehow managed to fluke a top half finish last season,

when, in fact

they are a dirty, clueless, clogging, long-ball rag-tag band of injury-prone misfits playing in front of half a dozen in-bred northerners too stupid to watch attractive football anywhere else in Lancashire who have somehow managed to fluke a top five position on the back of catching Tottenham on a bad day.

I stand corrected.

Someone up there is listening

Fresh from me complaining about why Snow Patrol get to sell out big arena venues, yet Editors, a band as polished, tight AND having better material are still playing at your smaller venues, comes the announcement of an arena tour in early 2008.

You know what to do.

They're like buses

Not been to Rock City for nigh on 6 years, then suddenly twice in four days, and it'll be three times next week with The Pigeon Detectives.

When I was a young teenager I, not unlike pretty much every other teenage boy at the time, longed for a girlfriend.

Not for the inevitable holding hands, French kissing and love bites (for love bites were THE pinnacle of teenage love at the time), but for another less obvious reason.

I loved music back then, as I still do, and while my exposure was more limited back then, I was still musically broader than a lot of my school peers. I loved two-tone, Madness, Adam & the Ants etc, before moving into a more synth based taste. Three bands that I loved back in the day (and still do to some extent) were ABC, Depeche Mode & Human League.

Three songs stood out by these triumvirate of acts, "All of my Heart" from the still beautiful Lexicon of Love LP, "See You", early Depeche Mode at its best, pre Dave Gahan's full blown hug with death and "Louise" by the Human League. All three songs charting the feeling of being in love, and the pain of losing that dream. The aching, the wanting, the loneliness.

That's what I wanted a girlfriend for, so she would chuck me and these songs would mean something to me personally. *

So imagine the feeling of finding a band that, not only had the odd one or two songs of love & rejection, but have built an entire catalogue & career out of it.

I first saw the always mighty Wedding Present 20 years ago, while they promoted their first album, George Best, and the current tour is billed to play that same album in full. Superb.

The attendees at Rock City on Sunday may well have contained the same people at Trent Poly 20 years ago. Or Rock City in the late '80's. Or The Marcus Garvey Centre in the early '90's. Or the Rescue Rooms over the last two years. Or any of the other 20 odd venues I've seen them in the intervening 20 years. We all look a little bit older, the mosh pit is a little bit slower and the lights reflect off more punters bald-patches (thankfully not guilty) but the songs remain the same, anthemic guitar laden conversations from the protagonist to an ex, or soon to be ex.

The times have changed in the 20 years, "When I sent you that letter", David Gedge reminds his ex in "Brassneck". Who sends letters any more ? And "Everyone Thinks he Looks Daft" would probably now be "He's a proper minger, in' it"

But I'll still be going in 20 years time, when Gedgy will be complaining of being dumped while queuing for his pension. "I gave you my hip, but then you gave me the slip", could well be a Wedding Present line of the future.

* When I did get my first taste of hand-holding, French kissing & love-bites it was fantastic, but when I got chucked, I soon realised how wrong I was. She wasn't called Louise so it didn't mean anything personal and I felt like crap.

It just gets better & better

Every time I go to the Beer Festival, it just gets better and better.

21 years I've been going now, and not missed one since '97, and the place never fails to provide gorgeous beers in the most non-threatening environment you'll ever get in the centre of Nottingham.

As has been the norm over the last few years, the ciders & perries got a severe tasting, the Suicider rum laced cider being very moreish.

Roll on October 2008.

Forest 0:0 Dullcaster

Playing catch up a little bit with this for two reasons; one, I've been away from my computer and two, I've only just woken up since watching this game.

Not strictly fair because, as nil nil draws go, this was up there with similar nil nil draws like, ............ erm, ................ hang on I'm sure I'll remember one in a minute.

Doncaster stuck ten men behind the ball and one up front, but they broke quickly and efficiently and could have won the game in the second half. Forest reverted to last seasons vintage of not being able to break down a poor third division side, a worrying habit that doesn't look like it's gone away. Any scouts watching the game would have come away with a blue-print of exactly how to guarantee leaving Trentside with at least a point.

A loss at the weekend to a decent (at home at least) Luton side was a knock-back, but worse was the poor performance. Again.

Nothing less than three wins from the up coming three home league games will be enough.

A warning to vegetarians

The animals would attack us if they could and take over the world, if only they all knew it .....

Cows attack man

Dog shoots man

How to live for a very long time

From the BBC:

A clam dredged up off the coast of Iceland is thought to have been the longest-lived animal discovered.

Scientists said the mollusc, an ocean quahog clam, was aged between 405 and 410 years and could offer insights into the secrets of longevity.

I'm no shell-fish expert, but I would imagine that one of the secrets of this particular clam's long life would be down to so far NOT being dredged up out of its natural environment.

Just a thought.

Oop North

I've always been happy not being a soft southerner, but never have I been so pleased not to live in ecky thump country either. From the BBC .....

Not news

Apparently there's a blackmail plot alleging a minor member of the Royal Family taking drugs & having sex.

Well, bugger me, whatever next ?

Blackmailing bears for crapping in woods.

And does anyone else know that the Pope's a Catholic ?

There are things in life that simply aren't right

Not been to Rock City for a few years, Big Country on Stuart Adamson's farewell tour was my last visit, so a welcome night out to see the fantastic Editors on Thursday. Watching them basically blowing out a packed sold-out Rock City made me wonder about things that aren't right in the world.

For example:

Why is Gary Megson STILL in football management, despite being sacked from pretty much every job he's ever had ?

Why do people STILL watch X-Factor despite the fact that even a gibbering idiot would realise it's all a con, stories manipulated by the producers to maximise the phone-call revenue from viewers too f***ing stupid to put both hands on their a**e without a map, yet can still press numbers in the right order to give even more of their short supply of hard-earned cash to someone who clearly doesn't need any more ?

And if Editors are playing at Rock City, how do Snow Patrol sell out huge arenas when all they do is basically re-hash the same droning voice / guitar crescendo on EVERY SINGLE song ?

Some actual footage from someone slightly closer to the action than my old bones would allow, which leads to another question, are mobile phone cameras at gigs the new cigarette lighter ? Mmmmmmmmm ......

Punishing

From the BBC:

Ministers rule out smacking ban. A complete ban on smacking has been rejected by ministers, after a review suggested most parents opposed one.

Clearly there are better ways of disciplining kids than by physical methods.

You could threaten to buy them a season-ticket at the Reebok.

Warning - Don't watch this under the influence

Memories

I'm away for a week, so to make up for possible lack of posting gubbins, here's something to get those memories churning.

A simple question on a message board had a whole lot of Forest fans reaching for their keyboards. The simple question was this;

What were your top ten & worst ten Forest games you've been to ?

I answered off the cuff and listed two or three, but had to think about it further to come up with a proper response.

I've been going to Forest for over 33 years now, long before the glory days came (and went) and can remember the good times alongside the bad. A lot of the responses included European finals, but I've been strict and stuck to games I was at, and while I can claim to have been to all the home games in Europe, I didn't break my European away cherry until Auxerre in '95 (which is listed below).

The other problem I had was sifting it down to ten. As I went along, I kept remembering other matches that had to go in, without having the heart to remove one further down the line. So below are my ten worst games I've attended, some honorary mentions to some better games, but I'll start at number 12 of:

My Top Twelve Forest Games

12 Ipswich 2:1 Forest '93 I'll start with a defeat, which would seem to be a bit bizarre for one of my top games, but it wasn't the result that counted that day in May '93. Forest had lost their way big time in the final season under Clough, and had been relegated the week before at home to Sheff Utd (see below). This was to be Brian Clough's last game in charge of Nottingham Forest. The world and his dog travelled from Nottingham to Ipswich that weekend, and most of them seem to descend on Yarmouth on the Friday night. Ipswich had their biggest crowd of the season that day as Forest fans took over every stand of Portman Road. As the game ended, everyone piled onto the pitch to celebrate the great man's reign. It didn't matter that we'd lost, it didn't matter that the season had ended in defeat, what mattered was being a Forest fan on a football pitch 150 miles away from Nottingham. Happy days.

11 Man United 2:3 Forest '86 In the days of paying cash on the turnstiles at Old Trafford, a simple coach ticket was enough to guarantee door-to-door travel & top flight football. Forest were 1:0 up at half-time before going 2:1 down early in the second half. Colin Walsh broke the United offside trap with ten minutes to go before young Nigel popped up with a far post header to win it in the last minute. Cue scenes of bedlam in the Forest end leading to a good old 90 minute stay in the ground before the local meat-heads had gone home. And even then, they hadn't.

10 Man United 0:1 Forest '89 An integral part of the third happiest day of my life, an away FA Cup Qtr Final win at Old Trafford, with the added bonus of over 12,000 Forest fans to celebrate with. And I was one of the lucky ones who didn't get let out too quickly after.

9 Forest 7:0 Chelsea '91 As good a performance a Forest team has ever put together at home. Later Forest keeper Dave Beasant let them all in, but to be fair, they could have had three keepers in that day, we'd have still scored a hat-full.



8 Spurs 1:4 Forest '94 As Spurs redeveloped White Hart Lane, tickets were at a premium. With Ossie Ardiles playing a strange, exciting but ultimately unsurprisingly unsuccessful 2-3-5 formation and Forest on a promotion high, it was always going to be a goal-fest. With tickets in the Shelf among the hardcore Spurs faithful, I had to keep quiet when Forest scored their first, keep quiet when Spurs missed a penalty and keep quiet when Forest scored their second. By the end, I couldn't keep quiet any more and as the fourth went in, we were celebrating like we were sat with the away fans. On the way out, a Spurs fan questioned whether we deserved to win, I just tapped him on the shoulder and told him next time he should try watching the game facing the pitch. His friends laughed at him, I laughed at him, I laughed for the rest of the night !!!

7 Peterborough 2:3 Forest '94 Simple equation, if Forest drew and results went right we were promoted. BUT, a Forest win and it was irrelevant what happened elsewhere. The coach was organised, beer supplies refreshed, even the sunshine turned up. A brief stop off in Stamford for an early morning pint, a ring-side seat while two forest fans argued over a stolen butchers sign and a short remaining journey to the metropolis that is Peterborough. Ten minutes in and Peterborough were already two-nil up. Some Forest fans decided to go back to the pub at this point, predicting a pointless afternoon. But, they couldn't have imagined that Stan "The Man" Collymore would step up to save the day. If I were to list my top ten (or twelve, even) Forest goals, chances are Stan would appear several times, and the bullet last minute winner here would be near the top. We were back.



6 Auxerre 0:1 Forest '95 My first trip abroad with the Tricky Trees and I ended up stuck on a coach, my 6'5" frame stuck in a window seat wedged for the entire journey to the middle of France and back. Just before we got to the ferry, we were told that even that little pleasure was to be withheld from our coach as we were heading for the alcohol-free tunnel. Bugger. Sod it, we thought, it's only an hours drinking and we'd already had plenty before leaving Nottingham, so opted to stay on our coach. This was a good decision, as most of the other people chose the ferry so changed to other coaches. Our coach (seats 70) contained the best part of two dozen people, all travelling in double-seat comfort. Bonus. A days drinking round the ridiculously small town of Auxerre, before standing on the concrete steps behind the goal in which Stevie Stone chipped the only goal. How Auxerre never scored is still in the hands of Interpol, the biggest European robbery this side of the Italian Job.



5 Arsenal 1:2 Forest '88 Back in the days when you could just turn up at a game and pay on the day, I got the tube to Highbury and was on the terraces for 1:30. A wonder strike from Paul Wilkinson in the first half before a sublime through ball from young Nigel to set up Brian Rice with a one-on-one with John Lukic. Brian Rice was never the most popular Forest player, despite being worshipped as something close to a God at former club Hibernian, but his delicate chip over the advancing keeper earned him a few thousand extra fans that day. A pointless Arsenal consolation couldn't stop Forest advancing to their first FA Cup Semi final for over 20 years.

4 Forest 3:0 Derby 04 My day started 500 miles away from Nottingham, stood on Keith train station in the cold at 6am. A flight from Aberdeen to Luton and a train up to Nottingham beckoned, all paid for by CapitalOne. An afternoon drinking, a job offer in Scotland phoned in mid-session, before a trip into town pre-match. I can honestly say I have never ever been as confident as I was this night, Forest going for a play-off place, Derby heading downward, John Gregory heading for the job centre. Seats up at the top of the Upper Brian Clough stand couldn't dampen the atmosphere as EVERY SINGLE Forest fan stood for the whole ninety minutes in one of the most one-sided games I have ever witnessed. A 1,200 mile round trip, but completely worth every yard.



3 Derby 0:2 Forest '94 When this game was originally scheduled, it was a local derby match between two fairly good sides. The rain put pay to a December kick-off, so when it was rescheduled at the end of April, it was a local derby between two sides battling for promotion to the Premier League. Demand for tickets was so great in Nottingham that a giant screen was erected on the pitch. I'd still got my ticket, a little dog-eared, but intact, and there was going to be no way I was selling it for beer money. But as my mate & I hit his works bar at 11:30am (for an evening kick-off !) we soon realised that beer-money wasn't going to be a problem. Two pints ordered, 80 pence requested in return. This was in the days when a decent pint would cost over a pound, so to get two for less was only going to lead to one thing, a big session. By the time we got to Derby, the wheels had been well and truly oiled. Forest went 1:0 up in the first half thanks to a Derby wall melting in front of a Colin Cooper free-kick. My mate spent most of the half-time break trying to hang his flag from one of the flood-light pylons before being talked down by a police-woman. He then spent the rest of the half-time break trying (in vain) to chat up same police-woman. The second half contained one of the most memorable moments of my life courtesy of Mr G Charles (more here). Oh yes.



2 Forest 3:2 Man United '84 Two nil down at half time, Man United fans everywhere, the knowledge that the game would be on Match of the Day, the world was not a good place to be at 4pm that particular Saturday afternoon. Forest fought back in the second half to make the game level, before Johnny Metgod lofted an edge-of-the-box free-kick over the United wall in injury time to win the game. We sang, we cheered, we sang some more. I was off school for a week after unable to talk.

1 Spurs 1:2 Forest 92 Where do I start with this one ? Following a truly inept performance by the linesman in the first leg of the League Cup semi-final, the two teams were level going into the second leg at White Hart Lane. A nice car journey down for an early afternoon kick-off, a good parking place less than half a mile from the ground and a place in the pub on the corner. Done and done. When some drunken, bearded tramp started telling us to get out of the pub, we thought he was taking the p**s, but it turned out he was the landlord, backed up by the local met. Apparently, there had been a bomb alert at the ground and there was to be a delay while it was checked out. Back to the car to polish off the packed lunch of the poor unfortunate who had got shunted away from the ground in the opposite direction, before a short journey to the pub next to the car. Back in those days, pubs weren't allowed to open on a Sunday afternoon, but the nice policeman said yes, so we all stayed dry and refreshed. The game itself took place in some of the worst rain I can remember, players sliding everywhere, and I could imagine the game being abandoned if it hadn't have been for the two fingers to the idiots ringing through the bomb warnings. Spurs came out for the second half in new shirts, a fact not lost on Brian Clough in his team-talk just before extra-time started. For the whole of the second half and extra time, Forest fans never stopped singing, never stopped jumping, never stopped chanting. Never before or since, have I been part of such a level of support, it was immense. The celebrations when Roy Keane bulleted the headed winner will never leave me. That was the ultimate moment of being a Forest fan for me. I may never see it again, but I'm glad I was there at the time.

Honorary mentions

Liverpool 0:0 Forest 93 Not particularly for the match, although Gary Bannister should have buried his effort from six yards at the Kop-end, but more for the Forest fans in the local pubs before the game. We came, we sang, we took over the pubs in a peaceful way and we sang some more.

Everton 3:0 Forest 93 Another defeat, and the defeat that ordered the relegation coffin for the nails to go into. Another fantastic performance from the Forest fans. Altogether now: "Goodbye horse, goodbye horse ....."

Grimsby p:p Forest 94 On the way into Cleethorpes, the temperature gauges on the side of the chemical plants were reading between -5 and -10. There was going to be no way the game was going ahead. They decided to call it off at 7:15, by which time we'd already frozen our nuts off stood outside an off-license unable to get into any of the local pubs. The journey back took us into Doncaster to one of the pubs serviced by the Mansfield Brewery rep in our party. Cue free beer & sandwiches for the rest of the evening. The ironic thing being that we got back later that night than had we gone to the game.

Man United 0:1 Forest 90 3 months on from Italia 90 and crowds up and down the country had a reason to have a go at Stuart Pearce. This day, the Stretford End decided to chant abuse at him. Pearce just decided to stick a free-kick into the back of the net to shut them up. Because he could.

Forest 2:1 West Ham 86 A cracking finish to the game as Brian Rice found himself with the ball at his feet 6 yards out to win the game in the last minute against a very good West Ham side aiming for a top three finish. But this will live long in the memory for another (and more famous) Johnny Metgod free-kick. Phil Parkes in the West Ham goal had to move out of the way, or it would have just taken his hands off. Enjoy



Worst ten

10 Forest 1:2 Leeds 07 A very recent game, we outplayed them, they stole the points undeservedly in the last minute. And their fans are animals.

9 Barnsley 1:0 Forest c92 An away game in some tin-pot long since forgotten Mickey Mouse trophy on a cold Tuesday night. My half-time pie was still frozen in the middle, we lost, and we had to drive back at 65 miles an hour due to being followed all the way back down the M1 by a police car. Which then turned out to be a taxi.

8 Forest 0:3 Norwich c93 The one and only game I have ever left early. A truly abysmal performance that showed we were heading down. I took my frustration out on a sink in the Bridgford End on the way out. It's still got the dent.

7 Forest 0:2 Barnsley c06 On a cold Friday night, with a television audience. The last game I've taken my dad, he's an unlucky omen. And Nathan Tyson got sent off towards the end. Rubbish.

6 Forest 0:2 Sheff Utd 93 The fans came to celebrate Clough's reign and the Sheff Utd fans joined in. The players froze and we were relegated without so much as a whimper. Roy Keane cried in the showers (if his autobiography is to be believed) while the rest of the players joked about which night-club they would be visiting that night. Nottingham that night was a very strange place to be, and had it not been for a very friendly off-duty policewoman, our group could have got into quite a lot of unwarranted trouble.

5 Forest 0:1 Man United 92 The fans turned up in force at Wembley, it was just a shame that there were so many Man United fans in the Forest end, some of the worst trouble I've seen inside a ground. The Forest players just didn't turn up at all and were beaten by a very poor United side.

4 Portsmouth 1:0 Forest 92 I didn't go out on the p**s the night before this game as I knew I'd be travelling to Portsmouth the day after. It's a shame that Mark Crossley couldn't have been similarly concerned. A long way to go to see us lose to a poor goal-keeping error.

3 Sunderland 1:0 Forest 91 When the Forest players came out with their sleeves pulled over their arms, I knew they weren't up for it. Cold didn't cover it, although most of the Sunderland fans were still walking round in t-shirts.

2 Liverpool 3:0 Forest 87 Crashed the car on the way to Anfield, got beat, then attacked on the bus back to the train station.

1 Forest 2:5 Yeovil 07 Felt like watching a car crash in slow-motion. It was clear to everyone what was happening, but you could do nothing about it. The talk of Wembley before the game just felt wrong, wrong, wrong. There's a large part of me that's still numb.

Weekend entertainment

It's the Beer Festival on Friday.

I've got my tickets for Forest on Saturday.

The Rugby World Cup Final is on Saturday night. *

I can't wait.

And it's only Monday !!!!!

* Paulie over at Never Trust A Hippy has some comments about the coming week's activities surrounding the Rugby World Cup Final, and rugby in general.

In general, I think he's got a point. I followed a Nigella Lawson recipe last week, so must be posh.

However, in this particular instance, not being English may be clouding his judgement on this one a little bit.

I've got very little interest in any game that takes place with mis-shaped balls (take your pick from either code of egg-chasing, ice-hockey, curling etc etc) and I've never professed to know the rules of Rugby Union, despite having played the game for three years at one of the strange non-footballing schools Paulie alludes to, but this is a World Cup Final and my country is involved.

Being English may have its faults and 'Englishness' is a subject for a far wider discussion, but this is England in a World Cup Final. Again. And this time they've earned their way through with guts & determination very few gave them credit for at the start of the tournament.

We may not win, and it certainly isn't going to encourage me to go and watch grown men stick their heads up each others backsides for 80 minutes before going into a club to drink each other's p**s, but I'll be watching the game on Saturday night with a beer in my hand surrounded by like-minded individuals because, and for no other reason, it'll be fun.

Not tempting fate this season

Roughly this time last year, I copied the League One table into here with Forest sat nicely at the top. Even we couldn't blow an 8 (EIGHT!!) point lead.

But there was always the feeling that, while league tables don't exactly lie, you can go to the top early doors based on a couple of lucky results that eventually will even themselves out (Leeds this season, for example). And boy did our results even themselves out.

So this season, despite the fantastic run of form we're on at the moment, this is the only table I'll be copying here until the lead is so great even mighty Yeovil couldn't stop us.

Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on .......

October

I love October. The nights draw in, the clocks go back, Christmas is round the corner and there's a nip in the air.

Book ending October are two of the best events in Nottingham all year. Goose Fair at the beginning, the lights, the smells, the mushy peas, the feeling of giddiness; and ended with the CAMRA Beer Festival, the lights, the smells, the mushy peas (with faggots) and the feeling of giddiness.

The 31st annual Beer Festival hits Nottingham this Thursday, and if you've never been you don't know what you're missing. Over 400 different types of beers, ciders, perries & wines to try, all within the confides of ONE leisure centre. Never has the word 'Leisure' been so aptly used.

Get yourself down to the Victoria Leisure Centre next weekend. You won't regret a second of it.

More details here.

Young Sensation

Every so often, a new band pops up or a followed recommendation sticks out from the crowd.

Step forward Young Sensation.

They class their influences as life without buildings, ride, architecture in helsinki, the castaways, rilo kiley, broken social scene, arcade fire, sonic youth, band of horses, interpol, jacques brel, flock of seagulls, volcano i'm still excited!, xiu xiu, electrelane, comet gain, pavement,wolf parade, the monks and much other wonderful stuff...

Take a listen here .....

How stupid do they think we are ?

Not content with having a man who, in my opinion, talks out of his a**e professionally on Radio 1 every morning, Scott Mills (covering for the afore mentioned Chris "I talk out of my a**e every morning" Moyles) had as his special guest Mr Methane, a man who can play name-that-tune using nothing more than the muscle contractions up his backside. Quality entertainment Mr Mills. I may not like most of the advertising dross on Trent FM, but there are definitely times when even commercial radio is a preferred option. I won't be listening to Radio 1 in the morning any more.

However, not to be outdone, the BBC 6 o'clock News decided they would out-patronise the lot.

Prince William is about to take up a commission in both the Air Force & the Navy. Nothing wrong in that story so far from a BBC point of view as it's a story about a member of the royal family not doing something yet as opposed to, say, the Prime Minister deciding not to do something yet, or a story about something that happened to the royal family 10 years ago. But let's face it, anything that gets pictures of Princess Diana or her kids at a BBC studio onto the TV at prime-time can't be a bad thing in a Heat magazine kind of way.

The newsreader, clearly reading from his crayoned autocue, described the story further:

He will spend his time in the Air-force learning how to fly helicopters & fixed-wing airplanes before going out to sea with the Royal Navy

Well f**k me, I never knew that's what they did in the Air-force or Royal Navy, here's me thinking he would be learning origami & sheep farming.

You're not on NewsRound now you patronising tosser.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Couldn't have a post about talking out of your a**e without having a picture of Britain's unluckiest man. Why unlucky ? Well, he's a stuck-up Tory tart for a start, even members of his own party don't like him, but he was pushing for an early election because he fancied Christmas & the New Year off. But now it looks like he'll have to lead the opposition for another couple of years before being unceremoniously sacked when he eventually loses.

Random Gubbins #5

Before Ross Kemp eeked out a career getting shown round Brazilian council estates by 12 year olds, he used to peddle diuretic breakfast cereals to chumps who wished they were playing golf on the Costa-Del-Sol in crappy jumpers while trying to avoid eating plastic crabs for breakfast like your average native Spaniard.

The fud.

Random Gubbins #4

They don't sell Um Bongo any more. They certainly couldn't get away with advertising a drink like this any more, that's for damn certain.

Not for any PC reasons, you understand, it's just your average tracksuit wearing chav numpty would imagine that because it contains ingredients from 9 (NINE!) different sources, it would clear up their 5-a-day requirement in one session.

Random Gubbins #3

Deacon Blue are named after lyrics in a Steely Dan song.

They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose...
Call me Deacon Blues

Random Gubbins #2

Culloden was the last battle fought on British soil, and if you've never been, I can asure you it is a very eerie place.

* Apologies for the absolutley shocking mock-Scottish music, think twiddly-diddily with kilts. You'll be better off with no sound on this one.

Random Gubbins #1

In the days before the complete dumbing down of the BBC (there's a rant on its way), even the comedy was capable of leaving you with a lumnp in your throat.

Doesn't time fly ?

Looking back at a couple of old posts, specifically Goose Fair related musings, I came across a very public pledge to fix the ever growing issue of my waistline.

I knew I'd made this promise at some point recently, but as happens when you reach my age, I didn't realise that it was exactly a year ago. [gulp]

So, how did I get on ?

Firstly, Get my weight down to 18 stone by this time next year (yes, that's right, DOWN to 18 stone). Always a tough one to start with and I'll tell you now, not a complete success, but not a complete failure either. In my defence, m'lud, I've had a very strange year (carrying on from the other "strange" years I've had recently). This time last year I thought I was happily married, but it transpires I was wrong because this time this year I'm more than happily separated. Not the sort of scenario to base a successful weight loss regime. However, I have got my weight down to something beginning with 18, which represents a loss of nearly two stone, so not a complete failure.

Secondly, get fit enough to run the Nottingham half marathon next September (not the full marathon, never run an event where the first person to try it died at the end). Did I run ? No. Could I have run ? Probably. Am I a lot fitter than this time last year ? Definitely. The problem with this is the type of training I've been doing. Two lots of Taekwondo a week & an evening of 5-a-side help the blood flow a lot easier (and contribute to the weight loss) but there's been precious little running. I've not given up on the idea for next year, I just need to alter my fitness program a touch.


Finally, some success; be able to get my clothes in normal shops in town (and not ones with the words "Big", "Tall" or "Lazy" in the title). Here's where the story gets a lot lot better. I haven't bought any clothes from Mr Fat & Lazy for over a year now. For the first time in over 15 years I've been able to walk into Burtons / Next / M&S and buy clothes I know are not only going to fit, but also hug my ridiculously shrinking waistline. If anything, I've now got a problem of having a wardrobe full of jeans that seem to hang off my backside requiring a shopping trip of Pretty Woman proportions.

All I need now is Richard Gere to spend an "obscene" amount of money on me.

All good things

You know when you read something and it's completely spot on, so good you wish you'd written it yourself and so good that there's nothing more to add, well .....

I "discovered" the Nottingham night-bus nearly a year back now and became an instant fan, but now it seems that the City Council in their infinite wisdom are "improving" the service much to the annoyance of the fantastic Left Lion.

If you happen to be in London over the weekend .....

Goose Fair Pics

Coming to a Jongleurs near you soon

Derby County manager Billy Davies has seen enough from his team to convince him they will avoid relegation from the Premier League.

Genius. You just don't get comedy like this any more.

You couldn't make it up

A Cardboard cutout of a policeman meant to deter shoplifters has been stolen.

More ..... (from Nottingham Evening Post)

It's all in the genes

As it's the first week in October, like a salmon swimming up stream, or a turtle returning to its' beach of birth, myself, and hundreds of thousands of other Nottingham dwellers will be overcome by the completely overwhelming need to add mint sauce to mushy peas.

Goose Fair. Come on.

(pic courtesy of Broxtowehundred.co.uk)

Control

On general release at cinemas this weekend, the long awaited Joy Division / Ian Curtis film "Control".

For some strange reason, filmed entirely in Nottingham, with the band sequences shot at the Marcus Garvey Centre on Lenton Boulevard.

I was offered the chance to be an extra in the concert scenes, but wasn't allowed to take time off work in the very short notice I was given.

A decision I'm regretting considerably.

(Trailer below, apologies for the sub-titles.)

10 years, not long enough

It's been a while since the Tories were in power, but just in case you've forgotten what a bunch of "help their rich mates, f**k the less well off" bunch of tossers they really are, here's an example of their policy on inheritance tax. I for one am so glad they'll introduce this, what with inheritance tax being one of the major worries of your average working class family.

In an attempt to steal the racist UKIP voters, a promise of a referendum on the EU charter.

Malcolm Rifkind demonstrates the kind of short-term memory loss that leads his colleagues into the arms of prostitutes only to forget all about them moments later. "... governments with a working majority in the House of Commons should serve a full term." clearly forgetting the short term Tory government of 79 - 83.

And 83 - 87.

And you can't beat the Tories for hypocrisy. Gordon Brown's trip to Iraq to discuss troop withdrawal is a "cynical stunt", according to Liam "who" Fox.

Thatcher in a tank, anyone ?

The Raven, Basford, 1988

Another image from Riff Design. Enjoy more here.